What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
