it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
jump out the window naked night went bad
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