tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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