Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
