the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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