just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize