Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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