We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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