Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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