Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1640) Order T-Shirt
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  (710): View more from

  Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!

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  (710): Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?! http://tfl.nu/2llb
  Replies (12) Good night (461) Bad night (4425) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  even my farts smell like vagina

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  (585): even my farts smell like vagina http://tfl.nu/9cib
  Replies (10) Good night (764) Bad night (3317) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (1915) Bad night (4484)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.

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  (513): theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me. http://tfl.nu/ioo3
  Replies (26) Good night (4772) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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  (254): The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium http://tfl.nu/41rv
  Replies (20) Good night (3283) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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  (712): whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice? http://tfl.nu/r74z
  Replies (90) Good night (3962) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.

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  (209): His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants. http://tfl.nu/6g5r
  Replies (15) Good night (1031) Bad night (6379) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3625) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
  Replies (11) Good night (1973) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.

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  (+34): You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer. http://tfl.nu/c0a5
  Replies (6) Good night (1828) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

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  (850): Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award. http://tfl.nu/qxv7
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (1399)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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  (609): she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka. http://tfl.nu/jihr
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember

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  (832): came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember http://tfl.nu/t07z
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (575)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.

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  (248): Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed. http://tfl.nu/r0u0
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt

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