so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
