Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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  (336): I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty. http://tfl.nu/8sow
  Replies (8) Good night (5041) Bad night (644)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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  (617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1189) Bad night (3481)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were

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  (503): Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were http://tfl.nu/3ofv
  Replies (14) Good night (5898) Bad night (1296)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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  (267): So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from. http://tfl.nu/6xgn
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
  Replies (41) Good night (9594) Bad night (3461)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5350) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...

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  (515): I have never made a good decision in that bathroom... http://tfl.nu/32pz
  Replies (3) Good night (2614) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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  (773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk
  Replies (24) Good night (2121) Bad night (4064)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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  (857): They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash http://tfl.nu/jeu8
  Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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  (765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3
  Replies (7) Good night (2060) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...

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  (315): Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper... http://tfl.nu/s6hc
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (1015)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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  (614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce
  Replies (6) Good night (1805) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

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  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
  Replies (7) Good night (995) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.

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  (256): Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101. http://tfl.nu/zhx3
  Replies (5) Good night (564) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (310)

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