Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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  (513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo
  Replies (22) Good night (5322) Bad night (708)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I understand Curling. That high.

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  (757): I understand Curling. That high. http://tfl.nu/c58u
  Replies (39) Good night (7268) Bad night (812)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out

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  (410): I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out http://tfl.nu/hdo3
  Replies (12) Good night (1174) Bad night (3482)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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  (360): Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving' http://tfl.nu/j3uq
  Replies (25) Good night (3749) Bad night (1155)
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  (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

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  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
  Replies (6) Good night (5231) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.

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  (303): Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential. http://tfl.nu/x59i
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2141) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His new job just became new places to have sex at.

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  (209): His new job just became new places to have sex at. http://tfl.nu/ezs0
  Replies (7) Good night (1677) Bad night (518)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

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  (423): There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night? http://tfl.nu/kr4w
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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  (310): I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it. http://tfl.nu/9g38
  Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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  (215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv
  Replies (5) Good night (266) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.

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  (573): Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room. http://tfl.nu/y8jv
  Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment

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  (608): Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment http://tfl.nu/9ful
  Replies (6) Good night (492) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"

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  (573): On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods" http://tfl.nu/38wh
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (146)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third

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  (607): She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third http://tfl.nu/te0l
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (263)

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