Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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  (610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair http://tfl.nu/hvec
  Replies (25) Good night (1304) Bad night (3630)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

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  (506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese. http://tfl.nu/cr8w
  Replies (6) Good night (2748) Bad night (1839)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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  (410): I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night. http://tfl.nu/vy3a
  Replies (31) Good night (7291) Bad night (937)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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  (704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66
  Replies (40) Good night (1403) Bad night (6126)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.

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  (289): I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone. http://tfl.nu/rtzl
  Replies (13) Good night (2533) Bad night (4112)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..

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  (623): its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything.. http://tfl.nu/87ir
  Replies (6) Good night (1053) Bad night (3011)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.

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  (832): Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress. http://tfl.nu/ybr5
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (1184)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

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  (505): I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having http://tfl.nu/8kbk
  Replies (1) Good night (1146) Bad night (503)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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  (785): Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks. http://tfl.nu/e26o
  Replies (8) Good night (622) Bad night (1257)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.

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  (505): Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood. http://tfl.nu/7ohn
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (1594)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (313)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.

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  (865): Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting. http://tfl.nu/jtae
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (273)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off

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  (952): Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off http://tfl.nu/2dnc
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (157)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?

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  (973): what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits? http://tfl.nu/84bk
  Replies (3) Good night (170) Bad night (500)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!

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  (518): Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?! http://tfl.nu/pdnq
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (155)

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