Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

wow.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah, it was that bad.

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(215): i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me" (267): wow. (215): yeah, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/hwqj

Replies (18) Good night (793) Bad night (4424)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9

Replies (25) Good night (12083) Bad night (1087)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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(262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3

Replies (39) Good night (1728) Bad night (4161)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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(202): you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star http://tfl.nu/tu9p

Replies (11) Good night (3782) Bad night (1188)
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(925): View more from California

Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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(925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi

Replies (9) Good night (3652) Bad night (1083)
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(970): View more from Colorado

do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

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(970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa

Replies (55) Good night (1232) Bad night (17374)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

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(+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz

Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (2161)
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(813): View more from Florida

Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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(813): Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b. http://tfl.nu/ahce

Replies (17) Good night (4263) Bad night (1906)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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(225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi

Replies (9) Good night (1547) Bad night (534)
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(727): View more from Florida

Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

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(727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko

Replies (5) Good night (1858) Bad night (684)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....

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(250): Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so.... http://tfl.nu/u1xp

Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (324)
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(773): View more from Illinois

In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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(773): In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month http://tfl.nu/vo21

Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (363)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen

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(306): well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen http://tfl.nu/nqpt

Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (496)
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(646): View more from New York

Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

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(646): Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor http://tfl.nu/9swp

Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (310)
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(720): View more from Colorado

So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".

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(720): So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar". http://tfl.nu/5mkf

Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (217)

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