Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?