I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
