i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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