I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize