Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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