you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
