Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize