you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
