ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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