Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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