Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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