i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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