He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
