Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
