honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
