hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
