that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
