I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
