I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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