my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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