sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
