i permit you to call me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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