I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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