i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize