I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
