Who wears a wallet chain?!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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