Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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