Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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