girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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