His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
