I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
