VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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