Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
