Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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