There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
