Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
worst night to have a conscience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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