Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
