We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize