Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
