While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
