Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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