Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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