Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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