she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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