Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize