Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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